Chocoholic Lover

Well I have finally worked out how to add a video. So here is a poem I wrote some time ago, performed by me. Hope you enjoy. Would love to know what you think.

40th Birthday

My nephew Lee, who is only 7, read this poem to me at my 40th birthday party. Tears tripped me up it was such a nice surprise.




Usually Auntie Karen
Likes to rhyme
but as its her birthday
its my time
To let you know Auntie karen
How much I love you
and thank you now
for all that you do.

Your're finally here
its been so long
I've been counting the sleeps
for at least three weeks
We can get on Mammy's nerves
with paints and loud singing
by the end of your stay
Dad's ears will be ringing.

But may I remind you Auntie karen
I'm a grown up now
no baby talk or nursery rhymes
its Kaitlyn's turn now.
She carries a dolly
and pinches my toys
but all hers are girlie
and so not for boys.

We can go for strolls
amd site and watch Star Wars
especially now
we have Dadd's surround sound
Kaitlyn can sit
up on your knee
just for a minute
She's places to be.

Now today is your day
and I'm sure
you'll have something
planned to say
but before your do
I have a surprise for you.

Mammy and I
have baked you a cake
as Daddy's first one
was a big mistake
so as its your day
we'd all like to say
Happy 40 Birthday Auntie karen
Hip Hip Horray!!!!!

Lee, thank you. You are my Special Nephew and I love you so muchxxxxxxxxx

RAG DOLL

YOU PLUCKED ME FROM MY PRIME

WHEN LIVE WAS JUST SUBLIME

YOU ROCKED MY WORLD,

DESTROYED MY DREAMS,

YOU LEFT ME BROKEN,

RIPPED AT THE SEAMS.

NO CHINA DOLL FOR ME

YOUR RAG DOLL I WAS TO BE

Garden Exhibition

Garden Exhibition

On walls of dying foliage
hang intricate exhibits
no hand could replicate.
Fragile, masterpieces,
defy the balmy breeze
as it caresses
each silken thread.
Sometimes, if fortuitous,
the artist awaits their reward-
Proud of their creative livelihood
as it hangs by a thread.
Unique,
their beauty goes unnoticed,
until the dewy jewels of the dawn,
adorn its elaborate brilliance.

As the sun takes centre stage,
each work of art evaporates;
and the artist
floats
in the wilderness.

INNER DEMONS PART 2

The forest dons darkness like a black veil.

Shadows loom and in the odorous gloom,

the wind tears at outstretched limbs.

Responding in self-flagellation

branches claw at their leaves,

in a desperate will to shed the dead.

Whipped into a frenzy of self-mutilation,

they berate themselves.

Diseased trunks transfixed

as nocturnal screams terrorize.

Spastic* roots,

overwhelmed by parasitic fungi

sucking at the inner critic.

Torrential rain lashes from an electric storm

and the weeping willow weeps.

*SPASTIC - Adjective relating to or affected by muscular spasm……….. Relating to or denoting a form of muscular weakness…difficulty in initiating and controlling muscular movement.

ORIGIN – mid 18TH cent.: via Latin from Greek spastikos ‘pulling’, from span ‘pull’.

Tea Room Bliss

I recently went home to the Lake District for a holiday. Whilst I was there I visited a farm tea room and it was so beautiful that I penned a poem about it and sent it to the local paper. I was pleased to see that they published it and so I am posting it on here too as many of you have asked where my little Dammit Doll came from. It was bought for me at the Wellington Jersey Stackyard Tearooms. If any of my readers are planning a trip to the lakes I cannot recommend this tea room enough. The banoffee pie is absolutely divine. When I came home I weighed myself and then slammed my Dammit Doll against the scales. Resulting in the Dammit doll losing its stuffing but unfortunately I still have all mine. Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT

Tea Room Bliss

Have you been to the Stackyard?
If not – you really must
For there you’ll sample homemade fayre
With a quality you can trust.

The jersey ice cream is divine
With lots of choice in flavour
And on your lips you’ll surely long
To lick and lap and savour.

The raspberry is delicious
And the bilberry just the same
And for the mint and Jersey cream
You’re sure to return again.

Now let me mention the homemade cakes
For they’re surely hard to beat
In fact you’ll not find better
Down any Lakeland street.

They’re scrumptious and they’re luscious
Beautiful and sublime
In fact they are so bloomin’ good
They are a real weight watchers crime.

The service is impeccable
There is nothing too much trouble
So really I must urge you all
To visit on the double.

You can relax upon the terrace
The views are picturesque
It is my humble opinion
Wellington Stackyard is the best.

Wellington Jersey Stackyard Tearooms

Where Are You

I’ve searched behind the sofa
Checked up in the loft
Up the flue
Down the loo
I think I’m going soft.

I tried the tumble dryer
And in the washing machine
Emptied the gin
Behind the bin
But alas you go unseen.


I put my head in the oven
But you were not in there
I tried the cupboard
Like Mother Hubbard
But alas the cupboard was bare.


Worried, I search the chimney
But find only a black face
Under the bed
In the garden shed
Sick - I give up the chase.


Perhaps you’re under the stairs
Amongst all the clutter and muck
Or in the car,
Down at the bar
Where are you Lady Luck!!